Myspace about me section...

About me, huh? Wow that's a tough one.... Well I could say that my life is exactly like everybody else's; Were born, We learn, We Love, We laugh, We cry, We Die. Leaving behind a life full of lack lustre, bad decisions, false hopes, and unrealized Dreams. OR Living to the fullest experiencing all that
this fallen planet has to offer, giving our lives over to the one who Created us. Saying to our Creator, "I give
it all to You, because....I don't know what the Hell I'm doing." Me I fall in the middle, for now...till
one day suddenly my life will be frozen in history then the decision will be made how my life was lived....................Despite the previous paragraph I Really do find myself to be a Highly Positive person, and a helpless
romantic, and a fairly level headed individual. all these things I suppose are validated by the people around me
who say the same about me...................I Love humanity, I Love helping and giving people the benefit of the doubt. I love deep rooted friends, I love the abrasive nature of human interaction, either the slow polishing and refining of
relationships, or the pain and friction that causes us to learn how to propperly interact, or reinteract. I am fascinated
by communication in every venue and how it works. Music, written word, poetry, fiction, non fiction, preaching,
casual conversation, loving, hating, how it affects, the emotions it draws out. how I can make
an audible sound to you, you take it in understand it and react to it. To me it's another sign of intelligent Creation
and purpose, NOT happenstance.........................I try so hard to be real and true in everything (I fail constantly), but I try. I'm drawn to people who are
like minded, straight up say exactly what they think and what they want. Within reason of course, there are times
where diplomacy is needed or required, and there are times when a sharp tongue is exactly what is called for.....................Life is Extremely hard at the moment, trying to find where I belong and what im suppose to do.
I am learning a vast amount of lessons in life right now. Most are tough and hard to swallow.
Music I Love music, I love playing guitar, tinkering on the piano, playing the Bass, Singing (not very good at
any of these), listening to it, really listening to it.....................My Dreams are to live my life to the fullest extent it could be, mean
while along the way affecting, and infecting a infectious undeniable desire to do the same in others. Living a life that
after im gone invokes people to write books about my life. Not because im vain, or conceded, but I want my life to matter!
I love Drawing out of people, encouraging them to reach out and accept the challenge we've been given. Give our lives
over to the Great "I AM" and let him change the world through us, not in spite of us. (man i struggle with that one).....................I think most of the issues that make this planet a crazy place to exist can be solved in just a few sentences. Phil 2:3-4
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
John 13:34 Love one another as I have loved you.
Realizing these two emploring commands, in thier propper context. Would change the world.

I had a Dream.... (True story)

On the night of December 7th 2008 I had a dream; this dream was unjust. I woke up the next morning with a sense of dirtiness for even having such a dream, let alone conjuring it up in my mind. Most of my dreams end up with myself accidentally wronging somebody, and being chased down and scorned by everybody I know because of my actions. Or in them I have this terrible sense of being hunted with no where to go, or hide. To put it frankly in my dreams I’m NEVER the hero. In my dream I was conspiring with a few friends to pull off a burglary/robbery, a heist. The dream’s opening credits were of me making my way to my friend “E’s” house. As I was traveling to his house my mind was replaying over and over all the conspired plans. I was practicing my lines the things I was to say to E when I arrive. With a hidden communication system I was able to interact with my accomplices who were waiting for me in an undisclosed location. In the dream only one of my two co-conspirators were named, “S” was his name. I was voted by the group to be sent to E’s residence, because E knew me and trusted me the most. With this trust I was to be able to manipulate my way in, as this happened I was to distract him and find the unnamed “priceless item.” After finding the “item” I was to make a swift and clean getaway. As I arrived something strange happened while I was invited in, you see it had been a long time since E and I spoke. As I was welcomed with open arms my heart was filled with anguish, knowing full well why I had come. Fighting back the anguish I steeled myself for the task at hand, “pull yourself together Eric, you’ve got a job to do!” I said within the caverns of my mind. We spent a good fifteen minutes catching up and both imploring “it sure is nice to see you.” Although my happiness was contrived and well rehearsed, E’s was very genuine. As we wrapped up our reconnecting E decided to show me around the place, stating “Since you were here last we have really done a lot with our humble abode, God so graciously provided us.” Further reminding my psyche it had been a long time since we last spoke. He led me to the backyard that was lush and green. Which showed care and diligence was taken to keep it that way. We moved on throughout the house, which oddly seemed bigger, much bigger than I remembered. We moved on to the Garage that ended up being a giant warehouse filled with pallets and pallets of good’s food, medicine, clothing anything a family would need to live on. As he was telling me all about his full warehouse, I said to myself “man is this guy gearing up for some serious recession or something” but I soon realized it wasn’t that at all. It was his wisdom, and forethought that guided him to keep his house in good working order. Throughout this whole supposed “visit” I was torn, use E’s trust in me to lead me to the “priceless item” robbing him of his possession of it leaving him devastated, and destroyed for my own selfish gain. Or not! The ball was completely in my court, I was the one in control of the situation. Slowly but assuredly my conscience was getting the best of me. “What are you doing, he love’s you, and trust’s you” I thought. “Who cares I need it, I want it” I struggled. Battling back and forth in my mind as I was also trying to keep my eyes peeled for the “item” while still paying close attention to our conversation so as to not slip up. Finally there it was! An opportunity to make my move for the “item”, but I would have to restrain E’s hands behind his back to do so. I was envisioning in my head what E would look like restrained and also the devastation on his face when he realized what my true intentions were. Just then I came to my senses “I can’t do this; it’s got to stop right now.” Secretly I sent an encrypted code to my cohort’s this code was the “abort mission” signal. Only I didn’t abort out of fear, or eminent danger, or even the realization we would be caught. I did it because I realized what E meant as a friend, and as a friend how could I destroy him. E and I wrapped up our visit, me knowing all along what I set out to do and now softened by our friendship regretting ever thinking of doing such a thing. The entire time E never the wiser just joyous that a long time friend would stop by and visit. As this happened the rest of the dream became hazy and unclear then it ended. As I think back over my dream my two comrades’ were just fine with me aborting the mission. Which seemed odd considering the time, and effort we put forth planning, and conspiring. As I was describing earlier I woke up the next morning feeling dirty and ashamed. For what kind of right minded person would have thought up and dream of such a thing.Who would intentionally hurt a friend, what kind of person would rob someone so close to them. “Who would do such a thing!” I thought. For an odd dream it seemed all too real. “Why would S and myself conspire against E, I know we haven’t always seen Eye to eye with E.” I further noted quietly while preparing myself for another “case of the Mondays” Later as I was driving to work still ashamed over my dream thinking through the scenario something hit me like a TON of bricks! I realized I had pondered that very same crime in real life and even committed the crime a time or two. A voice in my head stated; “E has a “priceless item” it is his REPUTATION! And YOU Eric by gossiping or venting to others about him are stealing it tying his hands behind his back and destroying him.” Wow what a revelation! By then my shame had become very real, and the point Very poignant! My dream instantly became an allegorical type of story where I played the Robber conspiring to steel a “priceless item” from a friend. The real life E in his line of work and as a Professional in that field there is one very important factor that could make or break somebody…..his REPUTATION. If tainted enough it could destroy a man it could drag down his family, and possibly anybody who trusts and confides in him. Then I realized because of an issue that came to a head one day quite a while ago. I had been frustrated with E and decided to vent my frustration to anybody who would listen. Through these actions slightly tarnishing his reputation, and placing doubt about E in whomever I laid out the scenario of “The incident” before. Carefully and skillfully placing him in the assailant’s shoes and very carefully placing myself in the victimized corner.Seemingly much like a civil war buff I would spent hours and hours studying the famous battle “the incident” and would reenacting it out on a large colorful topographical map neatly placed on a large table with all the miniature army soldiers, and guns, and camps all painstakingly crafted, and carefully painted for the fullest effect placed one by one perfectly lined up in their proper places. Dwelling on this scene “the incident” so much I had memorized the whole thing moment by moment. Although each time I replayed it for a different person my battalion was smaller and less able to defend itself from the grasp of the opposing side’s brutal forces. Through this type of slander I was able to show myself to be more in the right and Him more in the wrong, picking on me an innocent onlooker or delivering a blow to me as I was “simply and kindly making my point”. E had a “priceless item” alright it was his reputation, and conspiring with others I was out to take it away from him. Throughout the whole dream E had a Good reputation and for good reasons. He was kind, loving, inviting, fair, honest, humble, wise, and thankful for what God had given him, using those things that were given to him, allowing God to grow and prosper in him more and more. The output was him being able to show his house to be larger and growing in stature, with more green lush vegetation, and with wisdom storing up many things. There was also great care, and diligence that was used in doing so. This man didn’t have a bad reputation it was a good reputation and I was there to steal it. Could “conspiring” be defined as one or more people gathering together and talking about, gossiping about, or venting about frustrations pertaining to a certain person? Is it possible that Eric pulled S aside and filled him in on what happened between Eric and E, or maybe just a little gossip about E a slight whisper out of the corner of the mouth making S a co-conspirator in the story? Or is it possible that both Eric and S were convinced by the unnamed conspirator robbing E of his “priceless item.” All of these could be true and all would be wrong. In the dream all 3 main characters were real people that I know and have spent years of my life with. Maybe that's why this dream hit me so hard. I bet though for application purposes we could change the Name E to “everybody, or anybody” and the name S also to “everybody, or anybody.” By doing so we could also place any one of “our own names” in the Eric spot. Now I’m almost certain that when we gossip, or vent our frustrations, or even just in passing conversations mention situations “that happened to us.” We don’t mean to destroy a reputation, or the severity is to the extent of what the story implies, but it all has the same effect in varying degrees. Conspiring and deliberate thievery of a Reputation could lead to a conviction in a Court of Law. “Slander” is it’s name and ugly is it’s “game.” Or it could be as simple as gossip, and untrustworthiness is the end result. Either way the business is the same. I would be the first to admit I’m a “co-conspirator” to the core. We all are we love gossip, we love to see somebody were not a fan of go down. Or love to see somebody who has wronged us go down “they got what they deserved.” Have you ever seen somebody holding a home made sign outside of a place of business that states something like “this place is a rip off, never shop here” or had a person tell you all about why “they will never cross the threshold of that business ever again?” We do such things when we “conspire.” This Dream has left a lasting impression on me (hopefully), I don’t want to be considered as a guilty party anymore. I’ve seen way to many situations told in confidence blow up, and be blown way out of proportion. Not to mention the guilt of knowing that “person E” heard what I or we said about him or her behind their back. We live in a world where these things exist on a constant basis, and even paraded in front of us daily as entertainment, magazines, radio, T.V. (Survivor Africa, Ghana, China, South Gondolinesia……or Spokane.)This Dream was VERY REAL, and the revelation of what it meant to me was also VERY REAL. I try not to read to much into interpreting dreams a person could go insane doing such a thing, but this dream was pretty self evident. So I decided to write it down and share it with the entire world…..translated “share it with the handful of people that actually read this blog” I hope, and pray that this story will be enlightening to all who read it.

Communication.

The most effective human communication comes from the depths of the Human Soul where Unhindered lives.

Hmmm....?

ˈnor-məl..... Ever feel like this?

Just a thought...

Nothing More/Nothing Less

Accomplishments are nothing more than Post Traumatic effects of Determinism.
Art is nothing less than an Event of Emotionism.
Love is nothing less than the Souls Cry for Help.
Life is nothing less than Chain Linked Decisionism.
Family is nothing less than caught in a spider’s web.
Music is nothing less than Time Signatured Romanticism.
Failures are nothing more than single accounts of Audacious Bravery.
Laughter is nothing less than Impromptu Boundless Humanism.
Hope is nothing less than Daring to Be.
Hate is nothing more than a Desperate Verb.
Google is nothing more than the new calculator. :)


(These posts are an experiment of words, word plays, and thoughts that are written in quick subconscious decisiveness. Meant to cause thought by twisting the normality's.)